Toe-Jam Apples

For those who have followed me for a while you might recall that the year before my cherry tree up and dyed everything including the fruit started smelling like Cheddar Cheese.

That tree has since rotted where it stood and was recently brought down.

[Not my apple - not my worm. Just put in to make people feel disgusted.]

This year, as always, I bagged my apples against worms and fungus and bacteria and - well, no… the algae grew right in the bags with the apples…

If you don’t protect them at the perfect time the cores are still susceptible to worms and I think the lil’ bastardesses find a way to infect apples already inside bags. Spiders I don’t mind. I don’t have a problem with earwigs but they shit all over the fruit and inside of the bags.

Commercial fruit comes to you washed in detergent, but even with those you can take a soapy papertowel and still come out of the the stem funnel or the fuzzy bottom with dirt (New Zealand dirt for most of the organic produce sold here in ILL Annoyed). So, I always rinse, and soapy wash my apples, and then squee-gee the funnels and butts with papertowels to get the horrific amount of dirt that accumulates in a season.

My to my stomach’s distress I noticed that when certain apples were squee-geed that the distinctive smell of Toe Jam permeated the nose hairs.

Given that:

• industrial farm herbicides are human drugs

• godnose what they are dumping in the chemtrails

• cherries should not smell like cheddar

• apples should not smell like feet funk

• we live in Hell

then I endeavored to figure out from whence cometh the funketh?

It seemed that the earwig frass would be a likely candidate, but also apples that had active or dead worms at the cores could also have been the perps. I couldn’t isolate one or the other or even apples that had apparently no defect having the stank stink.

I did remember a couple years back that when the soil I was working got inside my shoes that my feet smelled like the toe-jam when they hadn’t previously. No… it’s true and my shit don’t stink neither!

Since shit falls from the sky - literally because apparently it is OK for a chemical toilet in an airplane to empty onto the citizenry below - my alternative source of inoculation could have been rain and wind. Hence and therefore ending up on the soil in my shoes and on my pristine toes.

Sure, when you cut into some apples the cores are full of the black mold that is so acrid that it steals your breath, makes you recoil and consider that you’ve just been irrepairably poisoned. Some apples have the grey fungus mummy dry rot. I’ve seen watery heart maybe three times in 50 years…

But athletes foot (not really that’s a whole nother stink) of the stem?

Mystery.

As in Mystery Religion.
As in the motherfuckers have been waging whars of attrition on us for 5784 years.

Because their weather wharf air this year delayed planting and thus spraying here in the Grain Ghetto of ILL Annoyed I had a bumper crop of apples.

Then they sprayed and things went back to normal shit: leaves dying, Japanese beetle invasions, fruit drop, the usual.

What concerns me is that right before Ye Old Cheddar Cherry Tree dyed it gave off the biggest crop I’ve ever seen.

Something defoliated my mother’s lilac bushes. All that was left were a few leaves on top of a few stems and tiny little flower pyramids that is a signal that the plant thinks it is dying. Lilacs put off seeds that look like watermelon seeds. I don’t think that even if the bushes could mature these recent seeds that there would be any chance in Hell (and we are in Hell) that it could preserve the plant into the next generation.

Literally we are watching the death-throes of a planet that is claimed to be protected by the very monsters that are systematically destroying it.

As if that wasn’t enough in this war of attrition, when I cook the apples in well water that has odor of only the minerals in the water, the residue in the cooking pan smells like Butadienes. Rubber, for those of you who don’t know the fomula for tires.

I wear specially-washed green nitrile gloves designated N-Dex free when working with food because I handle construction materials so I want to protect my food from what is on my hands. I can’t imagine that the vulcanized (sulfur) rubber smell is coming from those. When I cut up the apples with my bare hands there is a fungusy and Feet Stank odor left on my skin. The bladders in pressure tanks are a low-grade rubber that might give off an odor, but I don’t notice it in the raw or softened feeds.

Given that I can smell down to parts per trillion I would think that I would alert like an hair port dog if there was something nefarious in my water supply.

Could the rubber smell be yet another gift of the apples beyond toe jam and GMO black mold?

Two days ago I was picking the bagged apples by hand and as I approached one, I could smell it through the bag. It was the most fragrant floral smell that made me think - for one brief moment that we aren’t in Hell and that is what Life is SUPPOSED to be like…

[one of the ‘smaller’ of the Japanese giant apples. Again - not my produce. Just put in for entertainment porpoises.]