Yew Knighted States Post-Hell Serve Ass
... And Deliver Us From Evil...
So I tried to send a ONE OUNCE package to Porch You Gall.
Simple enough. Pay your insane $18.40 usurious fee, sit back and weight.
Here’s the tracking before I complained to Technical Services at the USPS after which they truncated the fraudulent toilet swirl by posting only the Sargasso Sea of the domestic skullfuckery.
[Brief Jordanian explanation of a Sargasso Sea is a GIANT patch of seaweed that will foul your boat with doldrums so that you can’t even sail the hell outta there.]
In case you don't know (and why in the fuck would *I* have to know more about this system then the Hivemates that work there?) every time there is an entry in the Tracking the package with its unique identifier has been scanned. Kindly pay attention to how many times it was handled just within Chit Cow Go.
Arrived at USPS Regional Facility
CHAMPAIGN IL DISTRIBUTION CENTER
December 18, 2024, 7:32 pmArrived at USPS Regional Facility
CHICAGO IL INTERNATIONAL DISTRIBUTION CENTER
December 19, 2024, 3:21 pmArrived at USPS Regional Facility
CHICAGO IL INTERNATIONAL DISTRIBUTION CENTER
December 19, 2024, 3:22 pmArrived at USPS Regional Facility
CHICAGO IL INTERNATIONAL DISTRIBUTION CENTER, UNITED STATES
December 20, 2024, 5:39 amArrived at USPS Regional Facility
CHICAGO IL INTERNATIONAL DISTRIBUTION CENTER
December 20, 2024, 5:39 amArrived at USPS Regional Facility
CHICAGO IL INTERNATIONAL DISTRIBUTION CENTER
December 20, 2024, 5:39 amProcessed Through USPS Regional Facility
CHICAGO IL INTERNATIONAL DISTRIBUTION CENTER
December 20, 2024, 3:12 pm
Since it was an international package, it went through an International Center Ring of the Tree-Ring Sir Cuss. THEN it found itself in Chicago (whateverthehell that means!).
Arrived
CHICAGO, UNITED STATES
December 21, 2024, 6:44 amDeparted
CHICAGO, UNITED STATES
December 21, 2024, 10:09 amDeparted
NEWARK, UNITED STATES
December 21, 2024, 9:03 pm
After hopping a flight from New Jersey (to contradistinked it from Old Jersey) it MADE IT TO ITS DESTINATION AFTER ONLY SIX DAZE!!!! Miracle. Angles Sing. Blue Birds shit in flight in happiness from the...
Dearly Departed
LISBON, PORTUGAL
December 22, 2024, 1:54 pm
Wait! Weight just a damned minute. Porch You Gall was the DESTINFUCKINGNATION! What do you MEAN THAT IT LEFT THE DESTINATION CUNT TREE?
Arrival at Transit Office From Exchange
HUNGARY
January 3, 2025, 12:57 am
Exchange of what?
Bodily fluids?
Mah Fiat money?
Some kind of weirdass You're A Peein' Union collaboration where Portugal is too backwoods to do their own Customs Clearance so that some FOREIGN THIRD PARTY gets their George Soros Hands involved in it?
Customs Clearance
HUNGARY
January 3, 2025, 12:57 am
Why not Customs Extortion Portugal?
Well, me and the recipient as opposed to The Recipient and Eye attempted to get some answers after it had satten there for a while (wile?) and the Post-Hell Nob in Portugal got angry at the recipient for the audacity of asking who was to blame for the package getting sent to Hungry. The Recipient was then informed that the only person who could inquire on the package was the Sender. We don't know if that is even true because at this point the whole train had fallen off the rails and they would probably tell us that honey-roasting our own nuts was a very healthful snack.
So I wrote to Hungary to find out why the hell they were so hungry for my mail that had made it to the destination and then for no acceptable reason was in a FOREIGN Cunt Tree languishing for the span of a You're A Peein' Vacation...
... are you ready?...
From: Patrick Pissedoffikov
Sent: 2025. 01. 31. 4:35:57
To: customer disservice@hungry post-hell officeHello,
Why in the name of sanity would a package that arrived in the destination country: Portugal end up in a completely different country: Hungary at Hungarian customs? after being mailed almost a month ago?
26 days later, the recipient spoke to the postal service in Portugal who were aggressive and said that they had no record of that item at all which is a lie because the tracking showed it in Portugal before it was wrongly sent to Hungary. They also informed him that the Sender = Me would have to track the loss of this item. Given that it has a tracking number and it made it to Portugal, their position of him not being able to track it is absurd. I need to know the status and location of this package and when it will be released.
On 1/14/2025 3:46 AM, Magyar Posta Ügly late wrote:
Dear Customer,
thank you for contacting our customer service.
According to our registry the item arrived to Hungary by accident.
It will be forwarded to Portugal as soon as it is released by the customs authority.
Thank you for your patience.
Yours faithfully,
I'm not a doctor so I don't even have patients. But I know when an organism is terminally ill with cancer.
On 2/6/2025 7:30 AM,
Dear Customer,
We would like to inform yout, that NTCA (National Tax and Customs Authority) has been released this shipment, and its been forwarded.
Thank you for your kind patience so far.
From: Patrick Pissedoffikov
Sent: 2025. 02. 14. 0:58:00
To: customer disservice@hungry post-hell officeHello,
It's nice that it was finally released, but who do we have to blame for it being returned to me instead of its obvious destination in PORTUGAL?
Is this a Hungary post mistake? A Customs mistake? A Portugal post mistake?
Is there the equivalent of a Postal Inspector General in Hungary as they have in the United States that I can bring my concerns to? This has taken too long and cost too much money to shrug and let it happen.
Dear Customer,
thank you for your reply and inquiry.
We would like to inform you, that - according to the international postal general rules - before a successful delivery to a recipient a postal item is a property of the sender.
Therefore - if any unexpected event occoured or a postal item was not handled properly - the sender can launch any official investigation only at the sender's country postal service.
Yours faithfully,
In the 1960s and 70s there was a saying used by waitresses: "Sorry, not my table."
In the TV show Ally McBeal the phrase was: "Byegones!"
In rational technical and business parlance it translates to "Bugger off!"
Here's where USPS TRACKING dodgedly DOGEly? truncated MORE of the transit that would have been lost if I didn't make screen shots of it !
Processed Through USPS Facility
ISC NEW YORK NY(USPS)
February 8, 2025, 5:25 amOrigin Post is Preparing Shipment
Arrived at USPS Regional Facility
QUEENS NY DISTRIBUTION CENTER
February 8, 2025, 9:30 pmDeparted USPS Regional Facility
QUEENS NY DISTRIBUTION CENTER
February 9, 2025, 2:21 amArrived at USPS Regional Facility
METRO NY DISTRIBUTION CENTER
February 9, 2025, 3:19 amDeparted USPS Regional Facility
METRO NY DISTRIBUTION CENTER
February 9, 2025, 4:04 amIn Transit to Next Facility
February 9, 2025, 8:55 amIn Transit to Next Facility
February 9, 2025, 2:26 pmIn Transit to Next Facility
February 9, 2025, 9:48 pmArrived at USPS Facility
INDIANAPOLIS, IN 46219
February 9, 2025, 10:18 pmArrived at USPS Regional Facility
INDIANAPOLIS IN DISTRIBUTION CENTER
February 10, 2025, 2:59 amArrived at USPS Facility
INDIANAPOLIS, IN 46219
February 10, 2025, 7:00 amArrived at USPS Regional Facility
INDIANAPOLIS IN DISTRIBUTION CENTER
February 17, 2025, 8:04 am
I wondered why the morons in hungary sent the package from portugal back to the Yew Knighted States of Shumeria?
Then I wondered why it's been stuck in Indiana Jones for a week?
The world is officially broken
I would remind you, Gentle Reader, that every time there is an entry the package has been RESCANNED.
Arrived at USPS Regional Facility
CHICAGO IL INTERNATIONAL DISTRIBUTION CENTER
February 27, 2025, 3:02 pmDeparted USPS Regional Facility
CHICAGO IL INTERNATIONAL DISTRIBUTION CENTER
February 28, 2025, 8:54 amIn Transit to Next Facility
February 28, 2025, 9:30 amIn Transit to Next Facility
February 28, 2025, 12:00 pmArrived at USPS Regional Facility
CHAMPAIGN IL DISTRIBUTION CENTER
February 28, 2025, 12:50 pmArrived at USPS Regional Facility
CHICAGO IL INTERNATIONAL DISTRIBUTION CENTER
March 3, 2025, 11:15 amIn Transit to Next Facility
March 4, 2025, 8:27 am
Departed USPS Regional FacilityCHICAGO IL INTERNATIONAL DISTRIBUTION CENTER
March 4, 2025, 9:39 am
In Transit to Next FacilityMarch 4, 2025, 10:40 am
In Transit to Next Facility
March 4, 2025, 12:40 pmArrived at USPS Regional Facility
CHAMPAIGN IL DISTRIBUTION CENTER
March 4, 2025, 1:36 pmDeparted USPS Regional Facility
CHAMPAIGN IL DISTRIBUTION CENTER
March 5, 2025, 3:37 amIn Transit to Next Facility
March 5, 2025, 5:10 amArrived at USPS Regional Facility
CHICAGO IL LOGISTICS CENTER
March 5, 2025, 6:50 amDeparted USPS Regional Facility
CHICAGO IL LOGISTICS CENTER
March 5, 2025, 9:40 amArrived at USPS Regional Facility
CHICAGO IL INTERNATIONAL DISTRIBUTION CENTER
March 5, 2025, 10:39 amDeparted USPS Regional Facility
CHICAGO IL INTERNATIONAL DISTRIBUTION CENTER
March 6, 2025, 9:30 amIn Transit to Next Facility
March 6, 2025, 10:10 amIn Transit to Next Facility
March 6, 2025, 12:10 pmArrived at USPS Regional Facility
CHAMPAIGN IL DISTRIBUTION CENTER
March 6, 2025, 1:21 pmDeparted USPS Regional Facility
CHAMPAIGN IL DISTRIBUTION CENTER
March 7, 2025, 2:20 amIn Transit to Next Facility
March 7, 2025, 4:00 amArrived at USPS Regional Facility
CHICAGO IL LOGISTICS CENTER
March 7, 2025, 5:29 amDeparted USPS Regional Facility
CHICAGO IL LOGISTICS CENTER
March 7, 2025, 9:05 amArrived at USPS Regional Facility
CHICAGO IL INTERNATIONAL DISTRIBUTION CENTER
March 7, 2025, 10:11 amArrived at USPS Regional Facility
CHICAGO IL INTERNATIONAL DISTRIBUTION CENTER
March 8, 2025, 5:26 amArrived at USPS Regional Facility
CHICAGO IL INTERNATIONAL DISTRIBUTION CENTER
March 8, 2025, 5:27 amArrived at USPS Regional Facility
CHICAGO IL INTERNATIONAL DISTRIBUTION CENTER
March 9, 2025, 12:36 pmArrived at USPS Regional Facility
CHICAGO IL INTERNATIONAL DISTRIBUTION CENTER
March 9, 2025, 8:11 pmDeparted USPS Regional Facility
CHICAGO IL INTERNATIONAL DISTRIBUTION CENTER
March 11, 2025, 9:12 amIn Transit to Next Facility
March 11, 2025, 12:50 pmArrived at USPS Regional Facility
CHAMPAIGN IL DISTRIBUTION CENTER
March 11, 2025, 1:21 pmDeparted USPS Regional Facility
CHAMPAIGN IL DISTRIBUTION CENTER
March 12, 2025, 3:36 amIn Transit to Next Facility
March 12, 2025, 5:00 amArrived at USPS Regional Facility
CHICAGO IL LOGISTICS CENTER
March 12, 2025, 6:42 amDeparted USPS Regional Facility
CHICAGO IL LOGISTICS CENTER
March 12, 2025, 10:37 amArrived at USPS Regional Facility
CHICAGO IL INTERNATIONAL DISTRIBUTION CENTER
March 12, 2025, 11:37 amIn Transit to Next Facility
March 14, 2025, 9:10 amIn Transit to Next Facility
March 14, 2025, 11:40 amArrived at USPS Regional Facility
CHAMPAIGN IL DISTRIBUTION CENTER
March 14, 2025, 12:47 pmArrived at USPS Regional Facility
CHICAGO IL INTERNATIONAL DISTRIBUTION CENTER
March 18, 2025, 1:14 amDeparted USPS Regional Facility
CHICAGO IL INTERNATIONAL DISTRIBUTION CENTER
March 20, 2025, 7:43 amArrived at USPS Regional Facility
CHAMPAIGN IL DISTRIBUTION CENTER
March 20, 2025, 10:51 amDeparted USPS Regional Facility
CHAMPAIGN IL DISTRIBUTION CENTER
March 21, 2025, 2:19 amArrived at USPS Regional Facility
CHICAGO IL LOGISTICS CENTER
March 21, 2025, 5:27 amDeparted USPS Regional Facility
CHICAGO IL LOGISTICS CENTER
March 21, 2025, 10:13 amArrived at USPS Regional Facility
CHICAGO IL INTERNATIONAL DISTRIBUTION CENTER
March 21, 2025, 11:06 amArrived at USPS Regional Facility
CHAMPAIGN IL DISTRIBUTION CENTER
March 24, 2025, 3:17 pmArrived at USPS Facility
Next town over...
March 25, 2025, 5:20 am
Departed USPS Regional Facility
CHAMPAIGN IL DISTRIBUTION CENTER
March 25, 2025, 5:22 amArrived at Post Office
March 25, 2025, 6:41 amDelivered, In/At Mailbox
March 25, 2025, 11:47 am
It is currently in my Demonic Possession but I have not forensically dissected it to see if it was tampered with. There is a tear at the top of the envelope that would allow an inspection camera in. According to postal rules you need a court order to open a domestic package for inspection unless it is sent Media Mail. BUTT! if the package is damaged in any way they then can stick their alien probes and have a look around at will.
Fyre at Will.
There is a curious Pink tag on it that says:
☑OTHER. Cannot be handled as to 1C57 rules.
Whose fucking rules? US Pee Ess? Hungrtarian?
It would be nice to have a citation to know what was wrong so it doesn’t happen again but the world was designed DIS functional so like Ewe Toob where they whack your peepee and NEVER tell you what you did wrong (a key trait of narcissistic psychopaths) there is no telling what nebulous RULE was transgressed.
Human Fucking-Error? Fucking-Human Error?
Or: this has the stench of A.I. all over it.
Either Way this shithole was made broken so it is behaving as designed.
Start to Finn-Ass this insult took 97 days. A new record for me.
I am curry-ass to know how many MILES it traveled in its masturbatory swirl around the Atlantic Gyre and back, and back, and back, and back, and back, and back again.
Butt, I have actual WORK to perform so I won’t even tasky my already vexed and addled mind with the limits that stupid fucking humans employed as Thumb Puppets for a petulant Machine God can attain. Because I’m sure that they are capable of much more stunning feats of corruption.
I’d go back to Smoke Signals except there would be a stiff Carbon Tax.
I ordered a one ounce bottle of product for $56au from the producer in the US. When I went to pay the shipping cost to Australia was $172au ( no shit!) I contacted the producer and didn't get a response so the only availablity of this producers product was on Amazon for $37au with free shipping.......
So....to take control of all shipping/ distribution Amazon has bought this product at wholesale and sold it at cost just to monopolize the shipping market.?..as once they have taken out all other shipping/ distribution tompettytours they can charge what they like......
This is standard business practice ( dog eats everything until only other dogs are left to eat) witch used to be illegal ( if you weren't Family)
… forgot to mention that when I received SIGNED (not by me) certified letter from the landlord stating rent increase, I went with it to the post office. Long story short, the lazy bastard mail carrier, instead of pulling the notice “you have a mail at the post office that requires your signature” from his bagASS and leaving it in the mail box, HE SIGNED THE DAMN LETTER HIMSELF!!!
He got reprimanded etc etc BS.
I made them aware how serious this is because they are playing with people’s MONEY and HOUSING because if I refuse to sign then the letter goes back to the LANDLORD. I HAVE that option, the lazy moron took that option from me