What a Crock, Pat

Hot as Hell

Always trust your Spider Senses.

I was given a Proctor Silex crockpot as a gift.

It seems that the friend of my mother equated being a bachelor as synonymous with crock pots.

I accepted it and thanked them for it, however, I had this strange feeling that I was never going to use it, except, perhaps for melting toxic parafin wax in it to dip electric guitar pickups.

So it sat.

For at least 12 years in the garage.

Having abandoned building electric guitars - or doing anything that had any semblence of enjoyment here in Hell - in favor of prosecuting the War Against Evil sometimes (without exaggeration) up to 24-hours a day, I just put it in the mental list of Things Never Accomplished In This Vale Of Tears.

But it still mocked me.

There was something 'not right' about it.

Fast Forward to many generous donations and a bit of my own money to get an $800 Geiger counter (Ranger EXP) and I got a wilde hair up my butt to put the probe inside the ceramic pot to see what counts-per-minute it might give.

My Spider Senses were vindicated when I turned the machine on and it started sounding like an Orville Reddenbacker Popcorn Convention.

So, I did what I thought was the most rational test: a one hour count.

6259 in 60 minutes = 104.31666 CPM of IONIZING RADIATION.

I left the 666 in for effect.

Anything over 100 is considered an actionalble level.

I reported on my Ewe Toob channel that phosphate fertilizer off the shelf from Amazon clocked in at 180 CPM. And that a regular tube television that hadn't been plugged in for 13 years read 130 CPM.

We're literally surrounded by unsuspected sources of dangerous radiation.

Because I'm not a fear pornographer, I will balance this with the notion that the TV and possibly the glaze on the ceramic crock pot won't 'contaminate' you or your environment with dust that remains radioactive thus making anything it is adhered to 'dirty' for the life of the half-life of the decay sequence.

Butt, the phosphate fertilizer by the Nature of it being rock dust WILL.

I would need insanely sophisticated equipment to determine if the phosphate fertilizer deposited its little scintillating beacons in the plants it was fed to, thus making them stealth delivery systems of dangerous radionucleotides to anyone who consumed them...

But my considered opinion rendered in highly scientific terms would be:

Fuck, yeah!

I'm sure it was designed this way. Silent Weapons for Quiet Wars.

Proximity to these sources is still a threat.

The Rule of Tumbellina is that alpha radiation can be blocked by a piece of paper but only travels and inch.

Beta radiation can be blocked by thicker materials and the action is supposed to fall off around 2-feet.

Gamma Radiation --- well... I'm not a licensed Scientist, so I can't give scientifical advice... but my recommendation would be: Get it the fuck out of your house!

oh... and you might want to get a device so you can stick your probe into everthing to measure ionizing radiation because we're literally surrounded.